Thursday, June 7, 2012

Accidently Mostly Attached

Of all the baby gadgets I regret getting — and the list isn't that long — a crib has to be near the top.
In his first 1.5 months of life, Kalin has spent roughly thirty minutes  in her crib. Her older sister Brynlee used it slightly more, though mainly for a baby cage while I vaccumed.
At night, my baby sleeps with me and often naps in my arms.
I’m one of those freaky attachment parenting mothers that’s all the talk thanks to Time’s recent story on extreme parenting. Though the article focused on Dr. William Sears and his controversial attachment theory, it was the cover shot of a mother breastfeeding her three-year-old son that garnered all the attention.
It certainly made my jaw drop. I mean how does a woman nurse that long and still have such perky breasts?
I didn't breastfeed my kids until they were three, to be clear this is where I differ from those other attatchment parents. I made it to two months with Brynlee and am planning about the same goal with Kalin.Partly because I'm really unable to supply what they need, and because It's the one thing about motherhood I haven't been able to get in the groove with
I didn’t intend to practice attachment parenting;  co-sleeping and baby wearing. Before my Brynlee was born I  set up a nursery down the hall and we were given a  swing.
When a mother I met said her child would be sharing her bed I gasped. That would never happen in our household.
Then Brynlee arrived and refused to sleep anywhere but my arms. I started co-sleeping and baby-wearing out of desperation. It was purely a fluke that Sears’ guide, ended up being the mantra in our household.
Sears’s theory on keeping infants close to their mothers and never letting them cry to foster a strong bond and confident children made sense to me. It also made Brynlee less miserable.Even though I was told from countless people to let her just "cry it out". Which we did when she was 6 months old for two months, and resulted in cleaning up puke every night for two months and eventually bringing her to bed with us anyways.
I became an attachment convert, though I was nagged by fears I wasn’t taking the right approach. My worries intensified when I returned to work and could no longer be attached to Brynlee around the clock. She suffered terribly, and would constantly cry while there. At night, she would crawl on my chest to sleep and cuddle with me in bed..
Ultimately I forcefully  sleep trained, a method that go against the core of attachment parenting. Granted I lay next to her until she falls asleep and I don't demand she go to sleep by herself. Brynlee still loves me in the morning, but I can't help feeling I had failed her.
According to the Time article, I suffered a classic case of “post-traumatic Sears disorder,” when a mother strives to achieve the ideals of attachment parenting, but falls short and feels inadequate.
Before Kalin arrived, I toiled over the decision on how to parent for round two. Should I co-sleep or put her in the crib? Strap her to my chest or plop her in a swing? Would Sears continue to be my parenting idol or was it time to shift to the Baby Whisperer, like a friend had recommended?
In the end, I decided to do whatever works and forget the parenting books.
I’m co-sleeping again because I believe that when practised safely it  helps a mother get desperately needed rest. Especially with a toddler. Brynlee is still upAnd sometimes I let Kalin cry, like when her sister is spraying a juice box across the living room.
I’m trying to do what comes naturally and enjoy the experience as much as possible. I’m as attached or detached as the day demands.Austin is calling demands for a crib baby, but I think back to Brynlee and the look of despair she would have and how we would make her puke and go back to sleep because that's what others told us to do, and it breaks my heart. If Kalin goes in her crib by herself and does amazing great, but this time around, I don't think I'm going to be forcing anything. Especially if she has the upchuck abilities of her big sister which thankfully, so far, she doesn't.

Kalin Sawyer Warr

Our little Kalin Sawyer is finally here!

Okay, okay She's been here for almost 6 weeks and my lazy butt just is barely getting around to posting about it. I'm sorry. I apologize, I really do. It was a combination of having no computer, no internet and having things higher in priority to do.

My wonderful doctor let me be induced a week early. I could of hugged her the moment she told me that.

Would you like to hear the story? It's rather....not that exciting, but I'll share it anyways.

We were scheduled to be induced April 28th  at 8 am. Luckily we had Papa Kent and Gaga Carol here to watch Bryners for us, and we left before she woke up so we wouldn't have to deal with her wanting to come with us.

We got all checked in and they tried to put in my IV, and blew my vein. Ouch. SO then she tried the other arm, and for some reason when she got it put in, I Puked....everywhere. Good start to the day.

Then came the pitocin and the inevitable contractions which got me begging for an epidural. I have a sister and two sister-in-laws who all have had two kids, and all of them did it without medicine...let me just say, I don't envy them. I love my epidural. World of hurt for all of 10 seconds and then hours of lovely relief.

After that I settled in and watched some Downton Abby, until the nurse came in and said maybe they should check. 10 cm yay! This was at 2 pm.  She asked me to try to push a little, but immediatly stopped me and ran to get the doctor. Once he got there it was two pushes later and at 2:10 pm our little Kalin Sawyer was born! Of course we didn't officially name her until later because it was austin's job and he couldn't make up his mind.

Brynlee came by later to visit, but she was a tad bit grouchy and screamed to go home, so they left. I felt bad.

Poor Kalin had to have her foot constantly poked because they were worried about her blood sugar levels since she was such a big baby. Oh yeah, that chunk was 9 lbs, 3 oz. Thank goodness they let me go a week early is all I can say!

So far she's a pretty good little baby. Doesn't fuss too much and sleeps great most nights.Brynlee basically ignores her. I'm hoping when Kalin is a little bigger Bryners might become more interested.

Anyways, that's all! We're so happy she's here and Austin is still hinting for a third. And while I love both my kids incredibly much, I'm hinting for a trip to the doctor for a snippity snip procedure. Maybe that's what I'll get him for his birthday. hehe.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Yard work and a Drama Queen

This weekend we did a bit of yard work to help the house look a bit nicer in case we need to sell it this summer. Last year we spent a few hundred dollars putting in some nice bark. Well, what we didn’t know is that the wind out here is terrible, and all our hard work and money would be blown away. This time we went with rock, which weirdly enough was cheaper anyways. Only 40 bucks for an entire pickup full. Of course, we picked the cheaper lava rock, but that’s because we didn’t want to spend oodles of money to make a house we don’t plan on staying in super fancy. But I still think it looks nice.

Brynlee came out to check on what was going on. 

I guess she was offended somehow, because she promptly stomped back into the house and disappeared for a few minutes. We heard some banging around, but like the good parents we are, just let her alone and waited to see what she would come up with. It’s one of those parenting things where you don’t want to go look at the mess they are creating because then you’ll have to clean it up. Turns out she wasn’t making a mess, she was packing.

She started right for the truck, only to stop and tell us She had packed lots of things and was going to go to Papa and Gaga’s house, and then to Quarter’s (Coraline’s) house to play. We told her we weren’t taking her to papa and gaga’s today. She said that was okay, she would drive all by herself and we would stay home. When she figured out that wasn’t going to happen, she stomped back into the house.

“Well crud, now what to I do?”

“ I know, look very sad and see if they change their minds.”

“Here we go, this is pretty pathetic, this’ll get to em…..”

“There, now it’s obvious I’m upset. They should be getting really concerned and running to me any moment…….huh…still not working, better go another step further.”

“There, I  have to be looking pretty pathetic and disappointed now, they will for sure drive me to Papa and Gaga’s house.”

“Well they just aren’t getting the point, maybe I’ll just try again.”

“Squirrel!” Austin at this point had the hose out and was washing off the rock and watering the plants.

“whatcha doin dad?”

“hey, don’t spray that at MIMI!.” She then gave him a good taking to about getting her wet. 

And then she had forgotten about her trip she was going to take and started playing again. If you’re wondering what was in her bag, it was only the most important things…all the silverware out of our silverware drawer, her sunglasses, and her water babies bottles. That’s apparently what all the clanging was. And you know something sadly pathetic about myself? They are still in her backpack. This morning when I needed a fork I went and got one out, and left the rest there. Eventually today I’ll put them back....maybe.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012


I'm finally getting it done! Posting my pictures from the last month! I know there will be lots of things left out, thanks to my pregnancy brain and forgetting my camera when we went places, but here's a rundown of things that have happened.

Brynlee put the dogs to sleep. She is getting GREAT at bossing them around.

Brynlee is also completely and totally potty trained. She hasn't worn a pull up since our Albuquerque trip, and hasn't worn one at night since then either, and amazingl has never had an accident in bed at night either. We have now put away her little potty, because as you can see, she just started using as a chair to play on. (Notice the washcloths all stacked up from big to small, she is really big into doing things in an organized way)

We did some Spring Cleaning and washed all the walls, Brynlee was actually super excited about it and Begged to help.
Brynlee painted a Masterpiece, while Austin painted the wall separating the dining room and kitchen back to a neutral color to help in the selling of our house, if we ever get around to that.
We put new thresholds in our house to help the fat that our carpet has been peeling up at the edges, until we can one day afford new, decent carpet. Or just to make it look nice to sell. Brynlee helped hammer in all the nails and do the measuring. She LOVES to help daddy do everything. Including scoop dog poop. I think we are raising a tom boy.

We replaced Brynlee's froggy too!! This time with a normal looking, green frog. And so far, it's managed to stay alive and is alot less wierd than the other one. SHe enjoys trying to find where he is hiding.

We bought a La-z-boy to have for the baby, and Austin used the box to make Brynlee a fort.
She hated it, can't ya tell??? We let it stay for about 2 weeks. She was pretty sad when we cut it up and threw it out.
Of course, she loves to paint, so we got her an egg to paint for easter.

And of course, we roped daddy into it too. He always appreciates it!
My best friend and new Step-sister Rachel came for a visit! For some wierd reason I have no pictures of her, but we went to the zoo with her and had lots of fun. I've decided she needs to move here. Austin thinks so too, he said he noticed a great improvement in my mood while she was around. At the zoo,, Brynlee insisted on sitting on every animal statue.

Everytime it is sunny, we have taken lots of walks to the park Brynlee loves her backpack, I don't know what we would do without it.

This most recent weekend we went to Burley and Brynlee got to go ski. We also went to blackfoot, but once again, I forgot my camera and have nothing from that. we did get to meet Gentry though, and play with Coraline. They are both super adorable, and Brynlee really likes Coraline.

Also in Burley, Bryn got to go pet baby goats...AND....RIDE A HORSE!!! oh boy, did that make her happy. She was so excited. As soon as she saw the horse come out, she was done with the goats and went and stood not so patiently by the horse so she could catch a ride.

Kite Flying. Not good when it's TOO windy outside.

Also not goo when your two Akitas are way more interested in the kite than your child.

And that's it! Well, the parts I can remember and have pictures of. And now we are on the baby countdown. Hoping for only 24 more days!!! Austin and I are both ready for me to not be pregnant anymore, the lsat few weeks have been incredibly UNENJOYABLE, and the past couple days even worse. Plus the number on the scale is just bringing new tears every day. 24 more days.  I just have to keep thinking, only 24 more days. But at the same time, having another baby is super frightening, so I haven't decided which is worse yet.

Monday, April 2, 2012

I'll be back soon!

I apologize for the long time, no posts!!! It's mostly due to my computer only connecting to the internet when it decides to, and then it usually only likes being connected for a few minutes before it rebels and closes on me. Makes posting awfully hard! But I promise to sometime this week finally load my pictures from my camera and update on the last month. Whew. If it's not there by friday, someone reprimand me. :)

Monday, March 5, 2012

Catch Up!!!

Oh boy. I have a month worth of posts to catch up on! In order to save some time, I'm going to cheat a little a redirect you to some other places.

 The rest of our trip was super fun, and I loved getting to spend time with my sister. She posted all about it, and since I was just going to steal all the pictures she used and re-post them anyways, you can see more about our trip on her blog here:

The only thing not in her blog is our trip home. On which our flight was delayed, but they took pity on us and paid for our dinner, and then Brynlee and I surprised Austin at his arrival gate and we all flew home together. He had told me he would be gone and home by the time I got there, but after checking the arrivals and departures board I concluded his could not be true, so instead of him surprising us, we got him! He said he didn't think I was smart enough to figure it out...I was slightly offended and it took him a few more comments to get out of that trouble. :)


Also while in Albuquerwue I hired my WONDERFUL sister to take some Maternity pictures so I could remember how I looked all nice and plump.. haha. You can see those at her photography website here:

Make sure you watch the slideshow, because alot of the pictures before that are blooper pics...which she was so nice to post. :) I love you Sara.

And that's all for now, I will play more catch up later!!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012


Ah! Has it really been a month since I've posted!?! Sorry I've been a little behind! But right now I am sick and don't feel like moving around much, so I'll take this opportunity to post about our fun trip to Albuquerque! (the more you say "albuquerque", the funnier it sounds)

The morning of our flight Brynlee was Sooo excited she decided that 1:30  AM was a good time to wake up. From now on we're never telling her when something exciting is going to happen, because as if we didn't have an exhausting enough day ahead of us, waking up at 1:30 was not fun.I tried everything I could to get her to go back to sleep, but failed miserably, so we watched movies until it was finally ready to go to the airport (at 4:45 am). Brynlee was so excited to get on the the plane, and buckled herself in and was ready for take off!
 Unfortunately for her, but fortunately for us, the wait time on the runway was so long, she passed out before the plane took off and missed the whole flight to Salt Lake. :)

We then had a 4 hour Layover in SLC, where we said goodbye to daddy as he boarded his plane to Boston. I was then alone with  my darling rugrat trying to entertain her for 3 hours before boarding. There was alot of walking and stair climbing, and riding the moving walkways. And of course a bag of Mike and Ikes just to get her to sit down so Mommy could have a rest!
And then, another hour and a half flight later we were there!!! (I apologize to those of you who follow my sisters blog, for I pretty much am just stealing her pictures from her posts and posting them, and it's the same story :)  )  Zsolt gave Brynlee a big hug

 AND a Big Kiss

And they hit it off first thing and started chasing each other around the place while we waited for luggage.

And then started what would be a week of copying everything the other one decided to do:

Yes, you two are goobers. It was nice to finally get out of the airport and head to Sara's house!!! Of which I will post more of later!